What parents can do to stop bullies

What Parents Can Do To Stop Bullies

Some feel that bullying is a normal right of passage in growing up. It isn’t!! There will always be conflicts between kids, but bullying is intentional cruelty, harassment, and emotional, physical and sometimes sexual abuse. This behavior can set the tone for a lifetime of intentional cruelty or worse. And the consequences to the victim can seriously affect them for the rest of their lives. Some victims are so tormented by bullies that they choose suicide as an alternative.

Parents must communicate with their kids and let them know that you’re there for them and will help them. This is critical.

Telling children to fight back in not the answer. It’s teaching your kids violence and tells them that violence is allowed. It is also not advisable to bring the bully and the victim together in the same room. What is advisable is for parents to intervene and teach kids victims and bullies changes in behavior.

Teach your kids self esteem and empowerment. By teaching them the difference between reporting and tattling they will feel empowered and make decisions responsibly.

As a parent or guardian, you can help your child resolve bullying issues by:

• Listening to your child and being supportive
• If your child is not comfortable speaking to you about the situation, urge them to speak to school counselor or arrange for them to see a professional counselor
• Tell your child’s teachers and principal about the incidences
• Document every conversation and incident
• Hand deliver and mail to the principal
• If the bullying is severe or the situation has not been effectively resolved by the school, hand deliver and mail by certified mail, a Notice of Harassment Form to the parents of the bully and the school

Get The Facts 

It’s important to listen to your child so you can help them. Get all of the facts. 

Ask your child what actions he would like you to take. Remember your child is feeling so vulnerable and he is in pain. Everything is out of control because the bully is controlling your child.

You are your child’s advocate and let him know you will work to solve this.

Approaching Your Child’s School

Does your child’s school know about the bullying? If not, they should be given a reasonable amount of time to resolve the situation.

If more than one school week passes without a satisfactory resolution, remind the school that the bullying has to stop immediately. Every day that passes, your child is in pain.

Document Everything

This is imperative. You should be documenting names, dates, times, locations of the bullying incidents and who you spoke to at school. Document every comment and who made the comment – everyone’s!

Take pictures of injuries, locations, buildings, street signs, people, etc. Get witnesses and document their account of the situation.

Write immediate recaps of any verbal school meetings and reports you make and fax a copy to the person asking them to change anything in the recap that they feel is an incorrect account of your meeting.

The most difficult thing for you to do will be to control you anger – but you must!!!

If your correspondence is angry, the school’s correspondence will be too. It’s human nature to attack back. Be as diplomatic as possible and let them know that you are documenting everything and will share the information with them, and you expect them to take responsibility.